Look, we need to address something right off the bat: Mr. Rogers was Mr. Dressup. Let that sink in for a minute. If you're a Canadian millennial whose brain just short-circuited, you're not alone. Ryan is still processing this information and has likely told at least three bewildered Japanese teachers about it by now.
In Episode 19, we dive headfirst into the fever dream that was TVO children's programming from 1989-1996. You know, that magical era when puppets were definitely real, department store mannequins came to life after hours, and we all collectively agreed not to question why that one host kept missing the Polkaroo (spoiler alert: they were the Polkaroo, and it only happened on Thursdays?!).
The Greatest Hits
We've included some gems below for your nostalgic pleasure, starting with Today's Special's intro. For those unfamiliar, this show featured Jeff (a mannequin), Jodie (a human with questionable taste in mannequins), and Sam Crenshaw (a security guard who somehow kept his job despite a talking mouse named Muffy running loose in the store). This was perfectly normal television, and we won't hear otherwise.
Speaking of totally normal children's entertainment, here's a snapshot from Under the Umbrella Tree, where a woman lived in an apartment with a bird named Jacob, an iguana named Iggy, and Gloria the Gopher (whose full name is Gloria Gladys Grace Gabrielle Gardenia Glenda Gale Gopher, because apparently Canadian show writers were paid by the alliteration).
And for those who remember solving mysteries with a glowing ball of light, here's a clip from Ghostwriter. Fun fact: Samuel L. Jackson made a cameo in this show, which feels like something we collectively hallucinated, but no, it actually happened.
The Great Revelations
This podcast episode brought us two earth-shattering revelations:
The Polkaroo only appeared on Thursdays (Imagination Day), crushing Ryan's belief that this elusive creature was just really bad at scheduling.
Barbapapa, that weird pink blob from our childhood, is alive and well in Japan. Ryan can literally buy Barbapapa merch at his local 100 yen store, which feels like some sort of cosmic joke.
A Note From The Archives
While digging through these memories, we also discovered that we might be the only people actually listening to our podcast. During the Porter Family Christmas gathering, it became painfully clear that our own family members have been practicing selective hearing when it comes to our show. Though to be fair, George tried to cover by claiming he "spreads out single episodes over a quarter." Nice try, George.
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If you enjoyed this walk down memory lane and want to share it with others (looking at you, Porter family), you can find us wherever you get your podcasts. Or don't. Apparently, it doesn't matter because no one's listening anyway.
For more nostalgic deep dives and family drama, subscribe to our Substack. Next episode drops in two weeks, assuming we remember how calendars work.
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