We've unleashed episode #023 into the wild, and this time we're getting nostalgic about the hallowed halls of Southwood Park Public School. If you've ever wandered the fluorescent-lit corridors of elementary school thinking "this place is definitely forming core memories that will both delight and haunt me into adulthood," then this episode is for you.
Ryan spends a concerning amount of time discussing his recent foray into architecture—a career path he is spectacularly unqualified for but pursuing with the unearned confidence only a man with a washable children’s marker can muster. We've included both his "architectural drawing" (a rectangle with some words scribbled on it) and the actual house he was attempting to recreate in the images below. The gap between expectation and reality would be shocking if you weren't already familiar with the delusion that runs in our family.
Meanwhile, Jacqueline shares the distinctly Utah experience of strangers knocking on her door and asking for a house tour while she was knee-deep in laundry. Because nothing says "welcome to my home" like mountains of unfolded underwear and a stranger's judging eyes.
We also dive deep into our elementary school experience at Southwood Park, where we learned such valuable lessons as:
How to perform a Māori war dance before getting absolutely destroyed in basketball
(Ryan’s nightmares)The art of marking other students' work while pretending we weren't enjoying their failures
Sophisticated coping mechanisms for Pizza Day when you couldn't afford pizza (Jacqueline's specialty)
How to survive being appointed camp counselor to your own classmates (Jacqueline's trauma)
Plus, we share the tale of the legendary "Beardo 649," a teacher who grew his beard for a year so students could shave designs into it. If that doesn't scream "this was education in the 90s," we don't know what does.
We wrap up with an unhinged text from our brother Jonathan, who spent two hours trapped in an elevator and used the time to learn Braille numbers 1-10 from the buttons. As one does.
So grab your chocolate milk, find a spot at the cool kids' table, and join us for this deeply nostalgic trip down memory lane. Just don't forget your pizza day envelope. Or do. Ryan will be happy to tell you why his mom's homemade lunch is superior anyway.
P.S. Next episode we're tackling "Saturday the 14th," which means we're currently scouring the internet for a working VCR. Technology has never been our strong suit.
Here’s the trailer for the movie to get everybody amped:
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